Reach Greater Heights
  • Home
  • About Me
  • Videos
  • Blog
  • Appointments
    • Phone Sessions
    • Skype Sessions
    • FaceTime Sessions
  • Contact
  • EVENTS
    • Seminar for parents of Teens
    • Couples Retreat

Why Are Goals Important?

1/15/2019

Comments

 
Comments

Do I Have an Addiction

12/26/2018

Comments

 
Comments

The Adolescent Dilemma

12/10/2018

Comments

 
Comments

4 Ways to Help Answer "Who Am I?"

12/10/2018

Comments

 
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Comments

Understanding Teen Sexting Part 1: The Legal Consequences

12/3/2018

Comments

 
Comments

Understanding Teen Sexting Part 2: The Psychological Consequences

12/3/2018

Comments

 
Comments

3 Essential Principles to Achieve Your Goals

11/20/2018

Comments

 
Comments

4 Ways to Beat the Holiday Blues

11/10/2018

Comments

 

For many the holiday season is a time of joy and happiness. It is a time to spend time with family and friends and celebrate cherished beliefs. For others, it is anything but a time of happiness and joy. For many it is a time of sanders, depression and anxiety. It is something that they do not look forward to at all. There are many reasons that people do not like the holiday season. They have experienced a loss of a loved one either during the previous year or even several years prior and the lack of their presence still brings sadness and loss. Others has experienced their loss through divorce or an unwanted breakup. No matter the reason for the loss, watching everybody focus on being with and having fun with family and friends can be painful reminder of what has been lost. 

Others may not have experienced loss, but are estranged from their family or their family is place of drama or contention which would rather be avoided at all costs. If they can't be avoided, this can bring a great sense of anxiety and unhappiness. 

If you are experiencing any of these reasons, or other reasons you may not be looking forward to the holidays,  I want to give you four tools and skills that can ease the emotional pain that you may experience this time of year. I am not suggesting that these ideas will make all your pain go away, but I do believe they will help ease your pain and get through this season better than if you do not practice them. They are: 

Support: Having a healthy support system is crucial to getting through any rough time in life. Being alone can bring its own sense pain and suffering. I tell people "do not try to overcome your struggles alone!" Find someone that you trust that will listen to you with the intent to understand what you are going through and will validate your emotions. 

Self-Care: Self-care is an important tool for individual happiness in general. It is even more important in times of emotional distress. Give yourself the gift of self-care this holiday season. Spend regular time doing something that  you enjoy and can find personal happiness in doing. Unfortunately many people turn to unhealthy coping skills and call it self care. These unhealthy coping skills can be drinking, using substances or other unhealthy behaviors. These will only provide temporary relief and then the holiday blues will return. 

​Service: Giving service is known activity to help with depression and grief. When we spend time helping someone else who is in need, we can't help but feel better. There are many ways one can give service during the holiday season. This helps us not to think about the challenges in our own life and puts our attention and focus on helping others. 

Gratitude: Thinking about what we are grateful for is a great way to not feel depressed. Like giving service, when we focus on what we are grateful for, it is almost impossible to feel down. Take time to make a list of all things you are grateful for and when you start to feel down take that list out and review it. 

Comments

How to Connect with my Teenager Part 2: What Teens are Asking for?

11/3/2018

Comments

 

Sometimes the way to get the best information is to go straight to the source. I recently asked my teen daughters to ask some of their classes at school the question, "What can parents do to connect better with their teens?" They did just that and the following are their replies. I also asked several of my teenage clients the same question. I provided their unedited responses. I support and endorse each of these responses. Teens know what they want to connect with and have a relationship with their parents. The essential thing to know is that teens DO WANT a relationship with their parents. They long for it. Please take this list seriously and start to implement as much as you can with your own teen and I promise you will start to develop a better, more meaningful relationship with your teen! 
​


  1. Be interested in what their kids are doing but not too pushy. 
  2. Make time for their kids and do things together. 
  3. Parents should be more involved with their child’s activities to prevent  harmful consequences from bad ideas. 
  4. Parents need to stop talking and listen, to let their child speak their mind without having any interruption. 
  5. They should take every little experience and teach kids what to learn from it. 
  6. Listen to what the kid has to say. Listen to the whole story and the whole explanation before you make assumptions and decisions. 
  7. They should understand their kids. They shouldn’t try too hard to be involved in their lives to the point where it feels invasive. They also shouldn’t be too distant, just somewhere in the middle. 
  8. Spend more time and find out what both like. 
  9. I would say just be there for them and let them know, like actually know they can always come and talk to you. 
  10. Spend quality time with them and get to know them better. 
  11. I feel that parents could better understand the day and age that we as our generation are in. Sometimes parents questions why we want something or the way we do something but most of the time we want or do something just because we are trying to fit in, in the ever changing world. Yes we need a “no” every now and then and we need restrictions but we also need parents who sympathize with their children and try to understand them. 
  12. Footloose - How can you raise a child to be trustworthy if you never give them any trust. For a parent, perhaps, the best thing you can do for a child is to let them fall. Let them fail and experience things on their own so when it’s finally their chance to shine, they will know how to. 
  13. Don’t take what we say when we’re angry to heart. Our brains haven’t developed, so we don’t really have a cause/effect mindset. We really cant see past our noses. So cut us some slack. 
  14. It would be good if the parents spent some one on one time with them where only the kids talked. 
  15. They can be more patient and willing to listen. 
  16. QUALITY TIME: Actually be interested in their life. Spend time with them. Ask them questions. Bring them lunch for their B-Day!
  17. My grandma had depression while my mom was growing up and she wasn’t there for my mom. My mom knows this and she makes sure she is there. I know I can talk to her as well as my father. Have Good Communication! 
  18. Put aside time in their day to hang out with them and go do stuff. 
  19. Recognizing that they are different people who have passions and support those passions. 
  20. I don’t think being trendy is the perfect way. More of us are getting depressed for anything. Loving your kids is the best thing. Fuel their ambition and passions. Even if your kids are closed and are not willing to share their feelings, share your experiences with them. Put yourself in our shoes. Yes, it’s difficult but look at our point of view sometimes. Parents being open minded, having good morals, and attentive is the best. 
  21. I used to never talk to my mom and we had a terrible relationship. After my parents divorce we started to spend time together. We would go shopping, eat lunch, or watch shows together. Sometimes we would walk through model homes or go for drives. More and more I found myself going to my mom for advice and emotional support. I relied on her because of those small one on one moments. I have four younger siblings and they have always gotten the attention. The fact that she still took time out of her day to pay attention to me really helped our relationship. Also, take it slow. Don’t rush into emotional conversations. One step at a time and us kids will grow to that stage. Relationships take time, don’t rush. One on one moments don’t have to be big. The simple humble moments are the best. 
  22. Daddy and mommy dates. 
  23. I think that parents should try to be involved in their lives and try out their interests. 
  24. Family dinner. 
  25. Sometimes parents just work too hard at making us happy. The best memories I have of my parents aren’t planned memories. Things like driving with all the windows down while blasting music and singing along can go a long way. 
  26. On weekends or breaks, have days where you go hiking with your dad, or go shopping with your mom, or just take a family trip. It’s a great way to connect to one another. 
  27. Make a fun treat with them or for them. You’ll get on our good side. Thats the first step to getting closer. 
  28. Have the parents ask the kids what they want and vice-verse. 
  29. Treat us like we’re actually people and listen to us. Talk to us like we are actually adults even though we’re not, it’s good practice for us. 
  30. Give them privacy. 
  31. Be there at the right moment. Give us space and time until we want to talk. 
  32. Get to know their friends and don’t judge them. 
  33. Talk to us more and have lots of meaningful conversations. 
  34. Parents can connect more with their teenage kids by understanding what they are saying and not being awkward around friends.  
Comments

How to Connect with my Teenager Part 1: Personality and Love Language

11/3/2018

Comments

 
Comments
<<Previous

    Author

    Garron Griffitts is a licensed clinical social work in Mesa, Arizona.  

    Archives

    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    September 2018
    April 2018

    Categories

    All
    Addiction
    Change
    Marriage
    Relationships
    Stress

    RSS Feed

Picture
Website by Aether Multimedia Productions

  • Home
  • About Me
  • Videos
  • Blog
  • Appointments
    • Phone Sessions
    • Skype Sessions
    • FaceTime Sessions
  • Contact
  • EVENTS
    • Seminar for parents of Teens
    • Couples Retreat