Reacting vs Responding

Today I want to talk about the difference between responding and reacting. Most of us have experienced both—and we know that one usually leads to growth, while the other often leads to regret.

So what’s the difference?

Both responding and reacting are driven by emotion. In any given moment, the emotional state we’re in will influence how we behave. The key difference is intentionality.
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• Reactions are impulsive. They happen quickly, without much thought, and often lead to negative outcomes. We tend to regret them later.
• Responses are intentional. They are thoughtful, measured, and far more likely to lead to positive results.

Stephen R. Covey taught that between a stimulus (what happens) and a response (what we do) lies our greatest power: the freedom to choose. He believed this is what sets humans apart—we are not bound to instinct alone.

I’ve come to believe that whether we react or respond is largely a matter of habit—and habits can be changed.

The next time you feel the urge to react, try pausing long enough to ask yourself:

“What would it look like if I responded to what I’m feeling instead of reacting to it?”
If you’re in a conversation and feel yourself getting triggered, you might even say:

“Please give me 30 seconds to get my thoughts together.”

It may feel awkward—but the outcome will likely be worth it, especially if others are used to you reacting.

Let me know what you think—I’d love to hear your thoughts.